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The Universe a Quadrillion Years from Today

New universe forms

We’re not sure what happened, but a new universe somehow appeared out of nowhere.

227 gods take credit for new universe

Their lawyers will battle it out in the “Trial of the Quadrillenium.”

YHWH utterly destroys other gods, takes over universe

“I’m back, baby!” he said.

Courts convict YHWH of godicide, sentence him to life without parole

“Hear O Israel,” He said, “I brought you out of Egypt—and now it’s time for you to return the favor.”

New God creates himself, destroys universe

“Just call me ‘New God,’” he said (to nobody).

New God creates new universe out of soybeans and hemp

“I want this one to be environmentally friendly.”

New God considers remaking Earth

“The blue-white-green-brown scheme would go perfectly with my curtains.”

Nature sues New God for copyright infringement

“I spent a long time creating the First Earth,” It complained, “only to have some fictional god copy it and take all the credit.”

Courts rule that Nature did not create First Earth

After the trial, Nature called the Judge and New God “a couple of deluded religious believers.”

New God puts humans on Earth

Let’s just hope they eat the right apples.


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