I've learned a lot about white supremacists via the Internet. And now I know that they're focused on Jews. I used to think their hate was a little more evenly spread out. Apparently, it’s pretty concentrated. Their hatred of Jews is the main course--and when they want some sort of variety or they want a change, they go, “Oh, let’s hate the blacks, Mexicans, or Chinese. That’ll be our side dish, snack, or dessert." As in collard greens, churros, and egg rolls.
A few months ago, I was browsing through YouTube, and I came across a talk show profiling a white supremacist family. And it was pretty weird to see a bunch of kids talking about how much they hate Jews. I’m talking about a cute little seven year old girl telling us that “Jews are bastards.” Take a look at her notebook. There’s a Hannah Montana sticker on it. And right next to it, “The Jews were behind 9/11.” Hannah Montana. And the Jews were behind 9/11. That's a popular combo among that demographic. They also watch a white supremacist version of Hannah Montana, featuring Hannah's Jewish rival Genevieve Tel Aviv, and her evil Jewish agent Collin Hollywood.
I can just envision a scene in one of those homes where Jew-hating is a family pastime. A kid says, “OK mom--I’m going to school.” And the mother replies, “OK honey. Don’t forget to hate the Jews.” Don’t forget to hate the Jews. That should be a white supremacist sitcom. You have to remind kids--because they might get preoccupied with something else. Like the non white supremacist version of Hannah Montana.
But by the time they’re adults, you don't have to remind them anymore. They never forget. They’re like the elephants of Jew-hating. That string that’s been around their finger becomes part of their flesh or blood. A white supremacist could have amnesia--but believe me, he won’t forget his hatred of the Jews.
[Doctor:] “What’s your name?” [White Supremacist:] ”I don’t know.” [Doctor:] "How did you get here?" [White Supremacist:] "Um... I don't know." [Doctor:] “Where are you from?” [White Supremacist:] “I’m not sure. Definitely not Tel Aviv. I can rule that one out."
And then ten minutes later, he’s watching headline news: “In related news, Israel...” [White Supremacist:] “ISRAEL! Sons of bitches! Who the hell do they think they are! Oh--wait a second. I remember everything. I’m John Smith. I live in Arkansas. The Jews are bastards.”
Yeah. He never forgot about the Jew part. A white supremacist never forgets. There’s a another sitcom. They should air it right after Don’t Forget to Hate the Jews. That's part of their TGIF lineup. If anyone ever starts a White Supremacist Network, I should be the head of programming. White supremacists and Al Sharpton should hire me.
Hating Jews is half of white supremacists' lives. And I mean their entire lives. Including eating, sleeping, everything. Hating Jews. That’s pretty much the main theme there. Like when they go to a gas station and see that gas is $4 a gallon, they think to themselves, “I know the Jews are behind this! I know it!” And then they fill up their tank. To most people, gas is going from the pump into their gas tanks. But to a white supremacist, money is going out of their credit card and into the Jewish pocket. They can’t stand it. When the meter is increasing and each cent is going on it--one cent, one cent--they’re counting the part that’s going to the Jews. “Point six cents is going to the Jews! There goes another point six cents! And another point six cents!” They can't stand it. I’ll bet a lot of them are in a rush to get electric cars. “Are you an environmentalist?” “No--I just hate Jews.” Honda better make sure it markets to that segment. It's not just hippies who are buying those cars. Now you know. Honda should hire me, too.
Or what about some white supremacist looking for a wife? Just imagine how ridiculous that might get at times. SOome guy says to his friend, “Bob--I heard you broke up with Mindy.” And Bob replies, “Yeah, yeah--we broke up. She’s a nice girl. We had some good times. I was going to marry her. ... But she just doesn’t hate Jews enough.”
I’ll bet they go through some of their girlfriends' internet search histories, just to make sure they really hate the Jews.
“Yeah, she says she hate the Jews--but I’m going to find out.” So he goes through everything. And then he does a full statistical analysis. “OK--let’s see. 5.8% of her searches were Jew-related. And it was 7.9% last month. And 9.3% the month before that. I don’t like where this is headed. She’s gone."
He’ll confront her with the data. [Jasper:] “You lying bitch.” [Girlfriend:] “Jasper, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” [Jasper:] “Don’t bullshit me. I went through your computer.” [Girlfriend:] “Oh.”
She’ll probably know exactly what he’s talking about. [Girlfriend:] “OK, fine Jasper. Yes--I hate the Jews. But sometimes I don’t hate them that much.” [Jasper:] “Get out of my house right now. Get the hell out of here. You’re not fit to raise my kids. You’re not going to remind them to hate the Jews. You gotta tie that string around their finger. Make sure it doesn’t slip off.”