The Library: Revised and Condensed

What Women Want

(In Order of Importance)

Whatever seems desirable to other women

Compliments

The entire contents of 4 department & 3 jewelry stores

To hear the words, “Have you lost weight?”

Whatever they don’t have

To drink the blood of their enemies

Everything under the sun

Everything over the sun

The sun

Romance

Shoes

Appreciation

The opportunity to whine about something

Attention

Johnny Depp

Sex

Chocolate

Men who will treat them like queens

Men who will treat them like dirt

Men who aren’t afraid to cry

Men who aren’t afraid to rob liquor stores

We shouldn’t have to tell you what we want. You should just know.

Men who can read minds

Children

A break from their children

Some food, damn it! Do you think sticking to a 1400 calorie a day diet is easy? We’re freakin' starving!

Men Are from Mars...
Finding Love
What to Expect When You’re Expecting