SOLOMON What seems to be the problem?
WOMAN 1 Well. Me and this whore live in the same house. We both had baby boys around the same time. And one night, her baby died -- so she switched it with mine while I was asleep!
WOMAN 2 No! The dead baby’s hers, and now she’s trying to steal my son. She’s nothing but a lying whore!
SOLOMON Please, ladies -- let’s try to remain civil. There’s no need for you to call each other whores.
WOMAN 1 But... we are whores. We work at that brothel down on Main Street.
SOLOMON Oh. ... Well, here’s my ruling: we’ll split the baby in half, and give each of you an equal share.
WOMAN 1 ... You mean split the baby’s time in half?
SOLOMON No -- I mean split the baby in half, right down the middle. Chop chop. (he turns to one of his Courtiers) Go get my sword.
WOMAN 2 ... Uh... would you excuse us for a moment?
The two Women walk a few yards away, have a private discussion for a few seconds, and then come back.
WOMAN 1 OK. I’ll take the left half and she’ll take the right half.
SOLOMON Oh. ... Uh... you kind of threw me a curve there. ... Hey -- I have another idea. Rock, paper, scissors -- winner takes all.