If you have ever considered that the Moon Landing may have been faked, you might be a real American.

If your definition of a "car" is a pickup truck, you might be a real American.

If your ancestors came from "somewhere else," you might be a real American.

If you can use the phrase "manifest destiny" without a twinge of guilt, you might be a real American.

If you think that the term "freedom of speech" extends to having loud conversations on your cell phone in public places, you might be a real American.

If you shudder at the thought of using mass transit as opposed to driving, you might be a real American.

If you opt to drive to locations less than a mile from your house instead of walking or biking, you might be a real American.

If you consider Velveeta to be a dairy product, you might be a real American.

If you play Stars and Stripeds Forever" at full volume whenver you can hera you rneighbor watching

If you would rather have your fingernails removed one at a time rather than be forced to sit through a symphony, you might be a real American.

If you think that NAFTA is the worst trade decision ever made, you might be a real American.

If you think that NPR and PBS are a step away from KGB and UAE, __ should be defunded so that free market stations can take their place, you might be a real American.

If you think that the Smithsonian is just a museum in Washington DC, you might be a real American.

If you think that the Smithsonian should be privatized and that the visiting public should be charged admission, you might be a real American.

If you think that the post office, __ should be privatized and that the visiting public should be charged admission, you might be a real American.

If you believe that Mount Rushmore was is an improvement on nature, you might be a real American.

If you think that quantum physics has something to do with Star Trek, you might be a real American.

If you have no compunctions about saying exactly what you are thinking no matter who might be listening / it's your duty , you might be a real American.

If you had to look up the word compunction, you might be a real American.

If you think that Walt Disney came up with the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, you might be a real American.

If you live in suburbia and use a riding mower, you might be a real American.

If you think that monogamy is a type of wood, you might be a real American.

If you think that subdivision is part of a math problem, you might be a real American.

If someone asks you why you believe something and you say "because I heard it on Oprah." you might be a real American.

If your idea of culture is a day at the county fair, you might be a real American.

If you watch the news on television instead of reading it in a newspaper, you might be a real American.

If your idea of compromise is ensuring that people see things your way, you might be a real American.

If you think that John Wayne is the epitome of manliness / we should relrelaese , you might be a real American.

Ofesetting

If you think that the increasing number of college graduates is what is contributing to the downfall of American, you might be a real American.

If you ask for layered butter on your popcorn at the movie theater, you might be a real American.

If you drink mil with __, __, and milk

If your idea of a well-balanced meal includes a TV tray, you might be a real American.

If you spend more than three hours a day watching television, you might be a real American.

If your idea of reality television __

If your idea of an international trip is heading down to the US-Mexico border and keeping Mexicans you've never traveled outside of the United States, you might be a real American.

If you think that the requirement for high school graduates to have two years of a foreign language is a sign of creeping socialism, you might be a real American.

If you would rather buy a hummer than a hybrid, you might be a real American.

If you have never considered the fact that 9/11 may have been an inside job, you might be a real American.

If blue jeans and tee shirts comprise over 50% of your wardrobe, you might be a real American.

If you think that American companies like Nike or Wal-Mart are doing the natives of third word villages a favor by paying them pennies per item produced, you might be a real American.

If you have ever described a dolphin or whale as a "big fish," you might be a real American.

If you think that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, you might be a real American.

If you find the Simpsons to be a classic of American Iconology, you might be a real American.

If you think that global warming is a conspiracy by the liberal left, you might be a real American.

If you want to declare find yourself nostalgic for the competitiveness of the Cold War, you might be a real American.

If you thought that "Sarah Palin's Alaska" was a great documentary, you might be a real American. __ replace Freinds with __

If you think that the EPA should be decommissioned so that corporate America came make some real progress, you might be a real American.

If you consider Rush Limbaugh to be the voice of reason, you might be a real American. / carried away

If you think that the American Education system is de-masculanizing boys, you might be a real American.

If you can defend the right of a corporation to be treated as an individual in our legal system, you might be American.

If you have never questioned the purpose behind individual social security numbers, you might be a real American.

f you consider naturalized citizens to not be "real" Americans, you might be a real American.

If you are against illegal immigration but would never consider working a minimum wage job, you might be a real American.

If you believe that Texas corporations ought to have a say in the history we teach our children should be decided by corporations in Texas, you might be a real American / ought to have s aay in .

If your definition of poetry begins and ends with Dr. Seuss, you might be a real American.

If you think that the cultural mandate of environmentalism is a socialist concept, you may be a real American.

If you think that the G8 is a car model, you might be a real American.

If you can support Arizona's amendment that allows firearms to be carried inside of bars, you might be a real American.

If you think ths US should attack France every Fourth of July

If you think that federal regulations for food labeling are an infringement on individual and corporate rights, you might be a real American. food labels should be requred to

Star Spangled Banner

If yu think that Osama bin Laden has been tortured

If you think it is a mistake to remove our nuclear weapons from our military bases in NATO countries, you might be a real American. / lack of nuclear weapons

If you can seriously consider that radiation may actually be good for you, you might be a real American.

If you think that cheez whiz on crackers constitutes a choice for hors d'oeuvres, you might be a real American.

If you started calling French Fries "Freedom Fries" during the gulf war, you might be a real American.

If the presets on your car radio are all country and religious stations, you might be a real American.

If you think that the ballet is something that only young girls should be interested in, you might be a real American.

If you've ever grilled a steak outside on the back porch during the winter, you might be a real American.

If your idea of "eating out" is McDonalds, you might be a real American.

If you know all the lyrics to "Proud to be an American" by heart, you might be a real American. / your three year old

If you consider anyone talking in a foreign language to be suspicious, you might be a real American.

If you consider __ to be __ socialism

If you think that Fox News is truly fair and balanced, you might be a real American.

If you consider a millionaire anti-capitalist

If you've been called a racist for ___, you might be a real American.

If you __ your subscription to Guns N Ammo Magazine, you might be a real American.

If you think Drinking with Bob

If __ Huffington Post, you might be a real American.

If you think Obama was born on the borders of __, you might be a real American.

If you thin paying people to __ might , you might be a real American.

If you think there's something wrong with buying foreign oil when ___ , you might be a real American.