I'm getting sick of all the crazy conpspiracy theories, and I just want to let the world know: Peyton Manning did not throw the Super Bowl. I know. I saw that game. Was I there? Um... I was either there, or I saw it on TV. But I saw the entire thing--and Peyton Manning threw a freaking football. At no point during that game did he throw a Super Bowl.
How are you even supposed to throw a Super Bowl? How are you supposed to pick it up? It doesn't even have laces or anything. And do you know how big your hand would have to be to throw a Super Bowl?
But Peyton Manning does have some big hands. I know--because I was smoking with him the other day, and I saw his hands. And we were talking about the Super Bowl and shit, and the pass to Maynard. And then he said, "I didn't just throw that pass to Maynard, man. I threw the entire freaking Super Bowl."
Oh. Wait a second. I guess he did throw the Super Bowl. So yeah--he threw the Super Bowl. Dude--he's Peyton Manning. He can throw anything. He can pick up a truck and throw it. It doesn't even matter. Because he's a great American. Like Johnny Unitas. They're great Americans.
But I can't believe the Colts benched Unitas to play Manning. That's crazy. You can't bench Johnny Unitas. But I don't know. I guess it wasn't that bad--because he's Peyton Manning. Maybe coach Dungy knew what he was doing. But still--come on. You can't bench Johnny Unitas. That's like benching America. That's like benching George Washington to play Saddam Hussein or something. That's crazy. Saddam Hussein can't throw a forty yard bullet down field.