Look—we have a pretty good thing going right now. We’re making money, we have a lot of freedom, and we only have to pay taxes on stamps and tea.
And you know what that hundred dollar bill guy is always saying: “A bird in the hand is greener than two birds in a bush.”
Take my example. I thought my girlfriend wasn’t quite the girl of my dreams—and I ended up marrying another woman who turned out to be a nightmare. An independent democracy might be like my wife at the very peak of a PMS fueled psychotic state.
I mean, think about it: Do we really want a government that’s of the people, by the people, and for the people? After all, there are plenty of people out there who are freaking nuts. Do we really want them in charge of the country?
Or take my alcoholic, sexaholic, gamblaholic, marijuanaholic, holaholic neighbor Bill. I know I don’t want that son of a bitch to run one millionth of the country.
If you think Thomas Paine’s plan is a good idea, drop by my neighbor’s house one day and watch him in action for a few hours.
And if you still think it’s a good idea, drop by my house four days from now, and spend a few hours with my wife and her whiny Aunt Flo.