Ricky Martin joins cult, preaches against livin la vida loca
Mariah Carey hits new note, causes universe to contract
Cuban Idol winner defects to America
Bill Haley rocks for twenty minutes, takes a four hour nap
Baha Men finally tell us who let the dogs out
Elvis spotted giving Tupac a haircut
50 Cent adjusts for inflation, changes name to 73.5 Cent
Queen members knighted by Queen
Nat King Cole refuses to be knighted by Queen
Hall & Oates admit they’re the same person
Sam & Dave admit they’re three different people
Simon & Garfunkel admit they don’t exist
The Mills Brothers admit they’re actually cousins
Beach Boy member admits he’s allergic to sand, saltwater, and sunlight
Boys II Men change name II Boys 2 Men
Visa launches Johnny Cash credit card
Smuckers begins production of Pearl Jam Jam
Smuckers organizes “Pearl Jam Jam Jam” Concert
Elton John gets hit with 37 paternity suits
Dean Martin changes name to Puff Dino
Diddy sues Puff Dino
DA uses “I Shot the Sheriff” as confession, charges Bob Marley with murder
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble form YABBA
Santana gives up guitar for fiddle
Tim Dog releases Mahatma Gandhi dis record
Dr. Dre awarded honorary doctorate degree, changes name to Dr. Dr. Dre
The Ink Spots go digital, change name to The Paperless Ink Spots
Louis Armstrong rides bike to moon, performs concert for no one
Aretha Franklin gets a little respect, asks for a lot more
Dionne Warwick says a little prayer, ends up with a lot of cash
Al Green, Al Jarreau, and Weird Al Yankovic join Al-Anon
Kanye interrupts Al Martino’s funeral, says we should still be mourning MJ
Don Rickles disses Eminem
Eminem fires back, rhymes Rickles with “sucks kosher pickles”
Beatles reunion concert draws crowd of 589
New Kids on the Block reunion concert draws crowd of 589,000