Nasrudin the smuggler was leading a donkey that had bundles of straw on its back. An experienced border inspector spotted Nasrudin coming to his border.
"Halt," the inspector said. "What is your business here?"
"I am an honest smuggler!" replied Nasrudin.
"Oh, really?" said the inspector. "Well, let me search those straw bundles. If I find something in them, you are required to pay a border fee!"
"Do as you wish," Nasrudin replied, "but you will not find anything in those bundles."
The inspector intensively searched and took apart the bundles, but could not find a single thing in them. He turned to Nasrudin and said, "I suppose you have managed to get one by me today. You may pass the border."
Nasrudin crossed the border with his donkey while the annoyed inspector looked on. And then the very next day, Nasrudin once again came to the border with a straw-carrying donkey. The inspector saw Nasrudin coming and thought, "I'll get him for sure this time."
He checked the bundles of straw again, and then searched through the Nasrudin's clothing, and even went through the donkey's harness. But once again he came up empty handed and had to let Nasrudin pass.
This same pattern continued every day for several years, and every day Nasrudin wore more and more extravagant clothing and jewelry that indicated he was getting wealthier. Eventually, the inspector retired from his longtime job, but even in retirement he still wondered about the man with the straw-carrying donkey.
"I should have checked that donkey's mouth more thoroughly," he thought to himself. "Or maybe he hid something in the donkey's rear end."
Then one day he spotted Nasrudin's face in a crowd. "Hey," the inspector said, "I know you! You are that man who came to my border everyday for all those years with a donkey carrying straw. Please, sir, I must talk to you."
Nasrudin came towards him and the inspector continued talking. "My friend, I always wondered what you were smuggling past my border everyday. Just between you and me, you must tell me. I must know. What in the world were you smuggling for all those years? I must know!"
Nasrudin simply replied, "Donkeys."
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The village mayor wrote a poem and read it to Nasrudin.
"Did you like the poem?" he asked.
"No, not really," Nasrudin replied, "it wasn't very good."
The mayor was enraged, and he sentenced Nasrudin to three days in jail. The next week, the mayor called Nasrudin in his office to read him another poem he had written. When the mayor finished reading, he turned to Nasrudin and asked, "Well, what do you think of this one?"
Nasrudin did not say anything, and immediately began walking away. The mayor inquired, "Just where do you think you're going?'
"To jail!" Nasrudin replied.
A traveling scholar treated Nasrudin to a meal at a local restaurant.
The scholar ordered two lamb steaks--and several minutes later, after the waiter brought back a platter containing one medium sized steak and one larger one, Nasrudin immediately took the larger steak and put in on his plate.
The scholar looked at him with total disbelief. "What you did violates virtually every moral, ethical, etiquette, and religious principle there is," the scholar began explaining. He continued with a long lecture.
When he finally finished talking, Nasrudin asked, "Well, may I ask what you would have done if you were in my situation?"
"Yes," the scholar replied. "I would have taken the smaller steak for myself."
Nasrudin placed the smaller steak on the scholar's plate and said, "Here you go! Bon apetit!"
One day, a barber was trimming the mayor's beard at the village palace.
After he finished up, he remarked, "Your beard is starting to turn gray."
The mayor, enraged to hear this, ordered that the barber be put in jail for one year.
He then turned to a court attendant and asked, "Do you see any gray in my beard?"
"Almost none at all," the man replied.
"What do you mean 'almost'!" the mayor yelled. "Guards, take this man to jail--and keep him there for two years!"
He then turned to another attendant and asked the same question.
"Sir, your beard is exquisite, and is completely black," the man replied.
"You liar!" the mayor shouted. "Guards--give this man ten lashes on the back, and put him in jail for three years."
Finally, he turned to Nasrudin and said, "Mulla, what color is my beard?"
"Your Excellency," Nasrudin replied, "I am color blind, and cannot answer that question."
Judge Nasrudin was listening to a case. After hearing the plaintiff present his side, Nasrudin remarked, "You're right."
Then, after the defendant had presented his case, Nasrudin again remarked, "Yes, you're right."
Nasrudin's wife had been listening to the case, and remarked, "that doesn't make any sense--how can both the defendant and plaintiff be right?"
"You know what?" Nasrudin responded. "You're right, too!"
Nasrudin went into a bathhouse dressed in worn out clothing.
The bath attendant, taking him to be poor, didn't give him much care, only throwing him a towel. When Nasrudin was done bathing, however, he gave the attendant a big tip.
The next week, Nasrudin came to the bathhouse again-and this time, the attendant gave him the royal treatment, hoping for yet another jackpot tip.
This time, however, Nasrudin flung a mere dime his way, and gave him a nasty look to boot.
As the attendant stood there with a disappointed look on his face, Nasrudin turned to him and said, "This tip is for the services you gave me last week; the tip I gave you last week was for today's services."
One morning, Nasrudin's wife said, "Husband, hurry up and get dressed. We are running late for the mayor's funeral."
"Why should I hurry to get to his funeral?" replied Nasrudin. "After all, he is definitely not going to go to the trouble of attending mine."
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