Last year, some asshole wished me a "Merry Christmas"--which is pretty much the most offensive thing I've ever heard in my life (aside from "Let's watch Fox News," "I don't like Arrested Development, and "Vote for Bush"). As you might imagine, I immediately pulled out my air horn and honked it in his motherfucking face before he could even finish saying "Christmas," and then I beat the shit out of him with my hardcover copy of The God Delusion. Later, I was visited by none other than the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future--and then I kicked the shit out of them too, because Richard Dawkins doesn't believe in ghosts. Anyways, I got out of jail on Christmas Day, and I spent the day walking up and down my block, and using a megaphone to tell kids that there is no Santa. I ended up getting into a fight with the father of some child I educated--which caused him (and not me) to go to jail (even though I started the fight with a God Delusion hardcover blow to his motherfucking head). All in all, it was a very Happy Holiday--but not a Merry Christmas. Although now that I think about it, I don't like the expression "Happy Holidays" either. It's almost as offensive as Merry Christmas.
I've owned this book for four years, and used it on numerous occasions. One day I plan on actually reading it.