2020 Barbara Walters - She interviewed God
2019 Dog the Bounty Hunter - He found God—and I mean that literally
2018 - Osama bin Laden - He apologized for everything.
2017 Dog the Bounty Hunter - He found bin Laden.
2016 Dean Martin - Even his ghost is cool.
2015 - The Number Three - We wouldn’t be able to divide 27 by 9 without it.
2014 Mel Gibson - Believe it or not, he’s president
2013 Sumner Redstone Believe it or not, he’s vice - president
2012 The World - It still exists.
2011 - Megan Fox - Everyone wants to do her -
2010 - Anyone but Barack Obama We’re fucking sick of him
2000D Barack Obama - No one else really stood out
2009 Barack Obama - He’s like Gandhi—only more disciplined.
2008 Barack Obama - He’s like God—only more rational
2007 - George W. Bush - Our editor was stoned out of his mind
2006 - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Unlike most Middle Eastern leaders, he’s only slightly insane
2005 - JK Rowling - Ask GK Chesterton, JL Mencken, and JRR Tolkien.
2004 - Ken Jennings - He’s more than human
2003 Jesus Christ - He’s more than human.
2002 - Kelly Clarkson - Don’t ask us. We voted for Justin Guarini.
2001 - The Inventor of Tivo - Now we can watch Jerry Springer at 9:34 pm -
2000 - Johnny Knoxville - His pain makes us laugh. -
1000M Nikola Tesla -He invented air and water.
1900C Tim Berners-Lee - The guy didn’t make a penny. It’s the least we can do for him.
1990C Quentin Tarantino - He single - handedly put an end to pulp free fiction.
1999 Bill Clinton Life would be dull without him. -
1998 - Mark McGwire - He’s like Popeye on steroids and spinach.
1997 - Ellen DeGeneres - We’re not homophobic.
1996 Kramer from Seinfeld - We’re always going to love this guy
1995 - Johnnie Cochran - He can convince you that your left hand is your right hand.
1994 - Pamela Anderson - The ratings don’t lie
1993 - Yasser Arafat - We usually put a piece of shit on this list every decade or so.
1992 - Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen ABC told us if they didn’t win, we’d be “in big trouble, Mister!”
1991 Pee Wee Herman - He has a balanced personality.
1990 - Jean Claude Van Damme - He’s been kicking a lot of ass lately.
1980D Cyndi Lauper - She’s the only person to win a Grammy and star in Wrestlemania
1989 Batman - Not only does he save Gotham City every day, he manages to look cool doing it.
1988 George Bush - He has no intention of adding new taxes
1987 Donald Trump - He paid us $20 million -
1986 - Mike Ditka - He created the universe in six days and six nights.
1985 - Lionel Richie - He’s trying to help Africa. You, on the other hand, only care about yourself
1984 - George Orwell - He single - handedly prevented this year from sucking.
1983 - Ronald Reagan - He was great in King’s Row
1982 The Inventor of the Diet Now it’s only a matter of time before we’re all lean and trim.
1981 - Margaret Thatcher - She’s definitely not a communist -
1980 Ruhollah Khomeini He has excellent fashion sense.
1970D Mary Tyler Moore She made it after all.
1960D - Martin Luther King, Jr. - We don’t want people to think we’re racist.
1950D - Martin Luther King, Sr. - We really don’t want people to think we’re racist
1940D Rocky Marciano He’s white.
1930D - Stalin & Hitler - They seem like nice guys -
1920D Albert Einstein Something to do with the speed of light squared.
1910D Henry Ford He brought car prices down 90%. At this rate, they’ll be free by 1987.
1900D The Wright Brothers - Now we can stop flapping our arms.
1800C - Thomas Edison - He invented the left handed can opener.
1700C - George Washington - He invented the dollar store.
1600C Isaac Newton - Now we actually have some idea of what the fuck is going on.
1500C - Galileo - He’s willing to go to hell for the sake of science.
1400C Christopher Columbus - He’s a non-conformist
1300C - Vacant
1200C Genghis & Kublai Khan - They rode around on horses and killed people.