How come Jews aren't trying to convert me? They're not putting in the slightest effort to turn me into a Jew. The other religions are. Jehovah's witnesses are showing up at my door, Hari Krishnas are at the airport, and even atheists are active trying to make something happen. But the Jews aren't doing anything.
I even tried to get myself converted by the Jews. Yesterday, I called up a random Jew I found in the phonebook. Isaac Rosenberg. I called up Isaac Rosenberg and said, "I'm thinking of making the move over to Judaism. Why don't you come over here and tell me what's what about Moses and Abraham?" And he said, "No. I have things to do. I'm busy." He told me to just read the Old Testament.
But that's not it. The Jews are also deceptive. I mean, they're trying to tell me that they have 10 commandments--but I did some research, and it turns out that there are 613 of them. What's that about? How are you going to hide 613 commandments?
And even the Ten Commandments--there aren't ten of them. They tell you not to covet your neighbors oxen, wife, and house--and they pass that off as one commandment. That sounds like three commandments to me. Although I don't really care much about my neighbor's oxen. But his wife is hot.
So I guess I'm not too happy with the Jews right now. If Isaac Rosenberg gives me a call and invites me over for gefilte fish, I might warm up to the Jews a little--but as it is right now, they're not my favorite group of people.
A lot of people do convert to Judaism--but as Isaac Rosenberg demonstrated, the religion isn't exactly seeking converts. There are also some people who convert from Judaism to something else. I'd imagine some of them do it to complain about the conspiracy. They think to themselves, “Yeah--that sounds good. I’m not a Jew anymore. Jews are ruining the world!”
Believing that Jews control everything can be very convenient and useful. It's like one of those infommercials for a kitchen appliance. "It slices, it dices, it chops, it mixes."