NEWS
Top Story: America Sucks
Screw America.
America Rapes the Rest of the World
We’re not sure how, but those bastards are raping us right now.
American President is Satan
Believe it or not (and if you don’t believe it, the government will execute you), the American President admitted that he is in fact the Devil.
Man Has Problem, Blames America
Makes sense to me.
Man Has Problem, Blames the Jews
Makes even more sense to me.
Man Has Problem, Blames His Wife
Makes even more sense to me.
Man Has Problem, Blames Himself
What a lunatic!
Jews Cause Drought
They’re hiding all of our water in their horns.
President Wins Reelection, Takes 99% of the Popular Vote
Which is pretty odd considering how everyone hates him. Um, I mean, he should’ve gotten 100%.
Man Executed for Shaving Chest
Death to the bare chested!
And double death to the artificially bare chested!
SPORTS
Iranian National Team Loses to Italy; America to Blame
Screw America.
BUSINESS
Jews Cause Recession
Screw the Jews.
Satan Signs Deal with Jews
Under their new partnership, Satan will go after your souls, the Jews will go after your pockets, and they’ll both take turns putting their horns in your ass.
Stock Quotes
DT Death to America Industries 43.71 +1.21
DTC Death to America Corp. 28.51 +1.22
DTI Death to Israel Corp. 33.75 -2.25
DTIR Death to Iraq Corp. 7.77 -0.25
DH Death to the Homosexuals Group 31.25 +0.03
DCS Death to the Clean Shaven Int. 77.52 +3.35
DI Death to the Infidels Corp. 11.50 +0.50
DIR Death to Iran Industries 78.56 +2.25
DTA Death to Everyone Not Named Ali Ind.21.25 -0.15
DV Death to Venus Corp. 66.60 -0.66
DTAA Death to Death to America Industries 98.75 +1.50
DTL Death to Life Corp. 145.23 +6.89
DTE Death to Everything But Death Co. 88.77 +0.08
DSX Death to the Stock Exchange Inc. 22.44 -0.72
WP World Peace Corp. Bankrupt
ANSB America’s Not So Bad Inc. Executed
MSRG May Shit Rain Upon Your Grave Inc. 110.21 +0.54
Advertisement
Grand Opening: The 72 Virgin Non-Strip Club
CALENDAR
New Movies
Attack of the Usurious Jews
Brokeback Mountain Doesn’t Exist
The Completely Clothed Gun
Bruce Almighty II: Allah Kills the Infidel Morgan Freeman
When Harry Met Sally, Fatimah, Khadijah, and Sakeena
Which Jew Framed Roger Rabbit?
Spring Break Iran (a.k.a. Death to the Spring Breakers)
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Execution
Dial M for Motherf*(&ing Jews!
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Become the Bomb
The Hendersons are Harrier than Harry
Legally Blonde (Should Be Made Illegal)
The (100% Guilty Jewish) Fugitive
Death to Debbie for Doing Dallas
TV Listings
Channel 1
Everybody Hates America
Who Wants to Blow Himself Up?
Death to American Idol
In God We Trust
In America We Distrust
In the Jews We Really Distrust
Dominated Housewives
60 Minutes of Complaining
As the World Turns, the Jews Earn
It’s Not Your Fault (Unless You’re Jewish)
Full House
Covering Gray’s Anatomy
Californikillthefornicators
Channel 2
I Love Lucy, and I Hate America
The Jews Want Your Money
Meet the Press
Imprison the Press
Looney Sunni Toons
Shi’iteline
Musicless Music Videos
All My Children Are Infidels
Jewless Morning Iran
Oprah’s Mouth Should Be Taped Shut
Screw the World
Real Men Have Chest Hair
Pimp My Donkey
Miss Can’t-See-Her-Face Pageant
Lifestyles of the Rich & Filthy Infidels
Married…to 4 Wives…with 87 Children
Jokes
Q: Why did the Jew cross the road?
A: I’m not sure—but it probably had something to do with money. Why? Because most Jews have no concept of doing anything without a financial motive.
CLASSIFIED
Donkey & Wife for Sale
$200 each or $350 for both
Qur’anic Legal Group
Justify any action for $500
Do you hate your life? Blame the Jews!
Body Hair Implants $300/arm $900/back
SWM seeking SWM for um… never mind
I Hate Everyone…
Including You