RICKY Lucy—I’m home. … Lucy? … Lucy—where are you? … … Lucy! Fred! What the hell is going on here?!
LUCY … I guess I got some splainin’ to do.
RICKY Splainin’!? I’d say you got some running to do!
LUCY Now Ricky, calm down. This isn’t what it looks like. Fred was just fixing our pipes.
RICKY Then where are his tools? And where are his pants? And why are our beds pressed together?
LUCY … Well…
RICKY I can’t believe this! How could you do this to me?
LUCY Well—on the allowance you give me, how could I not?
RICKY What are you saying?! That Fred is paying you for sex?!
LUCY … Well…
RICKY I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Mira que tiene cosa la mujer esta livin la vida loca maraca baraca obama. … Lucy—get back here! … Fred, ‘ol boy—you really did it this time. … You just saved me a hundred thousand dollars.
FRED Glad to do it, Rick. And I really mean it.
RICKY I’m telling you, there’s not divorce judge on the planet who would side with her now. Her lawyer will probably end up settling for peanuts.
FRED Well… now there’s something that you need to do for me
RICKY Let me guess. You want to be in my show.
FRED Well, I want to be in something—but not your show.
RICKY Um… I’m not so sure I like where this is headed.
FRED Look, Rick (CENSORED)
RICKY (CENSORED)
FRED (CENSORED)
RICKY (CENSORED)
FRED Oh. You thought I meant… Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I just wanted to (CENSORED)
RICKY Oh. Well, in that case… Wait a second! How is that any different from (CENSORED)? If anything, it’ll hurt my (CENSORED) even more.
FRED Oh. You thought I meant… Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I just wanted to explore Uranus—the planet.
RICKY That doesn’t even make any sense.