I want a hybrid. Very few things would give me more satisfaction than driving around in one and telling non-hybrid drivers to go fuck themselves (--which is something I do frequently when I'm not in my car).
But I can't afford one. And why? Because George Bush and his buddies ruined the economy, and because all of those tightfisted Republicans are limiting my unemployment benefits. Not to mention the fact that those environment haters don't want the government to chip in and bring down the price of hybrids (--even though they know damn well that changing every car on the planet to a hybrid will reduce the world's greenhouse gas emissions by 0.00001%. We can make a difference like that for just a few trillion dollars, and those assholes are against it!)
Hybrids are expensive, and they're out of my price range. Instead of riding around in some 50 MPG Honda Civic, I have to drive an old Buick Regal with a cloth interior roof that's currently held up by 15 strategically placed staples.
But there's no way in hell/Texas I'm going to let something like that stop me from doing my duty to help keep the world clean. For starters, I chose a green Regal in order to let others know I care about the environment. I also use a fuel efficient driving strategy, even when I'm running late for work and it might slow me down a few minutes. (Although to be honest, I haven't had a job since 2003--and even then, I was actually just unemployed with a business card.) And of course, whenever I come across an SUV, I honk at it for no good reason. (And when I happen to see a Hummer, I also use an air horn to really make my point.)
Couple all of that with my "Save the Earth," "Obama 2012," "Bush is Hitler" and "I'm Not Gay--But I Take it Up the Ass Regularly to Show My Support for Gay Rights" bumper stickers, and I think I'm doing as much good for the environment and world as anyone else out there.
Copyright 2010 Rodney Ohebsion