The Library: Revised and Condensed
The 36 YEAR OLD SINGLE MALE ACCOUNTANT dresses up his mate in an Uncle Sam outfit and shouts out tax codes before each thrust.
The 42 YEAR OLD MARRIED JEWISH FEMALE has a headache tonight.
The 21 YEAR OLD MARRIED JEWISH FEMALE has a headache every other night.
The 42 YEAR OLD MARRIED MALE FOOTBALL FAN will not have sex the day before a big game. Why? Because he wants to be at his absolute best when he sits in front of the TV drinking bear and eating corn chips.
The 40 YEAR OLD JAPANESE MAN will screw you four times in the time it takes an American to screw you once—and he’ll throw in an eight year warranty.
The 25 YEAR OLD FEMALE VIDEO GAME ADDICT looks for mates with fast, flexible thumbs.
The 42 YEAR OLD MALE DENTIST wants everything but oral.
The 35 YEAR OLD MALE AGENT wants 5% of whatever his clients screw.
The 18 YEAR OLD MALE will screw anything that remotely resembles a hole.
The 20 YEAR OLD FEMALE COLLEGE STUDENT is two drinks away from taking off her top.
The 48 YEAR OLD MALE NETWORK TV EXECUTIVE will only try a new move immediately after a proven hit.
The 24 YEAR OLD FEMALE GOLD DIGGER uses her sense of smell to determine the ratio of hundreds to non-hundreds in a man’s wallet.
The 42 YEAR OLD MALE HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR will give you four compliments for the release of one breast.
The 37 YEAR OLD MALE OIL PROSPECTOR will bounce around from woman to woman, getting every ounce of sex he can from each one.
The CONFUSED 28 YEAR OLD FEMALE will wear just about the sluttiest looking outfit on the planet, but get mad at anyone who so much as glances at what she’s going out of her way to show.