Fox News U.S. Birth certificate reveals Obama’s real name Obama destroys country Communist hippies whine about stupid crap Homosexual man attempts to corrupt your son Obama worships Satan Environmentalists kill people in order to save trees Obama’s approval rating drops to 44% National insanity rate drops to 44% World Obama destroys world Cuba still poor (I wonder why?) China becoming rich (I wonder why?) Politics Obama’s plan fails miserably Obama impeached (in an ideal world) Democrats admit they’re hypocrites Entertainment Liberal film attempts to brainwash the masses Health Liberal diet gurus to blame for obesity epidemic Liberal media promotes anorexia, plastic surgery Science & Technology Global warming debate heats up—but not necessarily because of anything humans have done Archaeologists unearth Obama bumper sticker in ancient Sodom Godless liberals anger God, cause hurricane Opinion Facts Obama’s guilty of treason Obama doesn’t know what he’s talking about Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing Obama’s a communist Obama must be stopped

MSNBC US & World Obama still trying to clean up Bush’s mess North Korean man adopts puppy Poll names Obama greatest man ever (Jesus finishes #793 million, Bush #107 billion) Capitalism causes another war Religious nutcases destroy the world “Slavery is OK,” says Judeo-Christian God “Men pretty much own women,” says Muslim God “16% of people should be treated like garbage,” says Hindu God Politics Obama’s plan more or less saves the world Republicans attempt to lure Democrats into pointless debate Republicans vote no on completely rational, sensible bill Obama turns water into wine Republicans attempt to repeal 13th Amendment Business Capitalist pigs rape world Corporations take money out of your pocket Evil oil company names Satan CEO, Ebenezer Scrooge CFO Sports Science defeats God, 6-2, 6-0, 6-1 Patriots win Super Bowl (with no help from God) Entertainment The Big Bang Theory tops TV ratings Genesis reunion tour cancelled Conservatives entertain themselves by stealing from the poor Health “Only rich people deserve to be healthy,” implies conservative asshole Technology & Science “God created the universe,” says deluded man Christians attempt to kill science “Conservatives are missing a ‘rational’ gene,” says intelligent scientist Conservative asshole caught releasing greenhouse gasses for the sheer fun of it

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