The Library: Revised and Condensed
You will find true love. Unfortunately, it will be in a prison cell.
You will tip your waiter 40%. Or you will end up with a flat tire on your way home. Take your choice, buddy. It’s one or the other.
Your blood-MSG level is at an all time high.
You will make someone happy. You, however, will remain miserable.
You will save 25% on your car insurance by visiting www.Confusurance.com
I will become wealthy beyond my wildest dreams. Wait a second. Why am I wasting my time
The valet driver stole your “Who Let the Dogs Out?” CD.
You will more or less live the same dull life ‘til the very end.
Your waiter pee-peed in the poo-poo platter.
The fate of the entire world depends on some antique dealer in Santa Fe. What? Did you think it would depend on you?
There’s a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.