Subway Computers

Customize your Desktop Computer

Starting Price: $45.18

(Don’t get too excited. That only includes the air inside of the computer.)

Computer

Imaginary $52

Actual – Styrofoam $321

Actual – Plastic $756

Power

Hand Crank $27

Ben Franklin’s Kite $1,145

Nuclear Reactor $32 million

Cooling System

Straw $2

Ice Cube Holder $45

Iceman $38 million

Antarctica $87 quadrillion

Processor

No thanks $24

Yes $400

Office Software

Basic (Doesn’t Include Anything) $45

Deluxe (A Calculator Missing the 4 and 7 Buttons) $345

Mystery Package (3 Randomly Selected Programs) $475

Anti Virus Software

I’d prefer to live dangerously $45

McI’masissee $173

Do you want your computer to work?

No $98

Maybe $174

Yes $375

Service Plan

Basic (We won’t do anything for you) $45

Standard (We’ll let you call us with questions on February 29th) $445

Deluxe (Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Albert Einstein will follow you at all times in case anything goes wrong) $17 billion

Memory

I can remember everything myself $75

5 GB $325

20GB $1252

(Please keep in mind that the computer needs at least 37 GB just to turn on)

Monitor

I’d prefer to just visualize everything in my head $52

Paper and Pen $172

37 mile Megamegamegatron $1 quadrillion

Keyboard

Two Button Binary Code $11

Deluxe $195 + $2/key + another $2/key

Mouse

I’ll catch my own $23

Standard $76

Eyeball tracking lasers $1.2 million

Printer

Manual (Paper and Pen) $172

Dot Matrix $1,121

Toppings & Condiments

Tomatoes $27

Pickles $54

Salt $18

Oil $108/barrel


Sub-total - $22,586.52

Shipping & Handling - $10,125.25

State Tax - $7,123.25

Bill Gates Tax - $15,142.25

Our Own Tax - $12,242.90

Misc. - $98,456.25

Gratuity - $78,450.07

Total Price - $973,125.25

Double or Nothing? - Yes

You Lost - $1,946,250.50


Finance this purchase for as little as $0.01/century (if you pay $1,946,250.49 down and sign over your soul) and as much as $1.82/millisecond

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