Dear John, George, and all you other British Assholes:
It’s over! We’ve had enough of your Bull. And even though you don’t deserve an explanation, we’ll tell you exactly why we’re getting rid of you fish and chips eating bastards.
We’ve been taking it up the bum for four score and some odd years, and it’s about time we reclaim our behinds. We’re human beings—and human beings don’t deserve to be treated like this (except for women, Indians, negroes, homosexuals, etc.—but that pretty much goes without saying).
And here's a pertinent question: What’s the only legitimate purpose of a government? I’ll make it easy for you. Multiple choice: (a) to make life better for the people; or (b) to enable a few selfish asholes to rob the people?
I’ll bet you guys answered “b,”. Well—you’re wrong. So guess what? We have the God-given right to make it “a.”
Now, we realize that sometimes you just have to let some shit slide. But you’ve been sending over about a million truckloads of shit a day—and we’re up to our ankles in it. Over the years, you’ve been busy forcing us to trade with you, convicting us of crimes we didn’t commit, and last but not least, Taking Our Money! We made the mistake of trying to reason with you. We should have known better. We do now. And now we’re free—and we consider you the same as any other country: our enemies in war, and our friends in peace.
In other words, if you so much as try to take another dollar from us, we’ll cut out your hearts and use them to wipe our asses!
Sincerely,
Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock, and A Few Dozen Other Pissed Off Americans
The Constitution
Thomas Paine - Common Sense
The 4th of July Should Be Moved to May 5th
The Difference Between Liberals and Conservatives
The United States Federal Budget