The Library: Revised and Condensed

The Analects of Confucius (500 BC)

Confucius

Confucius said, “A mere man man takes one view; a True Man man takes others, too.”

Confucius said, “A mere man has no principles; a deluded man is blinded by narrow ones.”

Confucius said, “Both men and assholes love and hate. What? Did you expect me to say something like ‘love everyone?’ I hate that philosophy.”

Confucius said, “True Men care about being worth knowing instead of being known; being fit for a position instead of having one; virtue instead of land; and fairness instead of personal exemptions.”

Confucius said, “He who is merely a person is not satisfied with being a Good Person. Which explains why so many people are merely people. ... Does that make any sense? I hope so.”

Confucius said, “Goodness teaches me to be good. Badness makes me aawre of my badness--which teaches me to be good.”

Confucius said, “A piano with 81 identical keys lacks harmony; a world of nothing but conformists lacks harmony; a world of nothing but pianos lacks everything but pianos.”

Confucius said, “Surrounded by right, you can reach a great height. Surrounded by pee, how great can you be?”

Confucius said, “Speaking of high subjects to low men is like feeding a dead man lo mein.”

Confucius said, “Though even Brad Pitt’s girlfriend can be stolen, no one's free will can be stolen.”

Confucius said, “Being a Good Person depends on the person himself, and not on Confucius. Unless of course, you are Confucius. Which is pretty unlikely considering how I’m Confucius.”

Confucius said, “The way of a Good Person will rub off on others, and cause an explosion throughout the land.”

Confucius said, “If the captain steers north, his seamen will follow.”

Tzu Kung said, “In the Odes, it says: ‘Cleaning up after a powerful jerk. Come over here, oh what messy work.’ Does that refer to the Tyrants Nixon and Carter?”
Confucius said, “That pretty much refers to every politician in human history.”

Governor Ai said, “How should I run my province?”
Confucius said, “Hire and promote the upright, fire and demote crooked, put the right person in the right position, don’t expect one person to be fit for everything, ask advice from a variety of people who think for themselves, and don’t forget to pick up your sister from the mall.”

Confucius said, “Those who forget about next month will be screwed by next week.”

Confucius said, “Those who don’t think and those who only think both stink.”

Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching
Recorded Teachings of the Buddha
The Bible
The Apology of Socrates
Nietzsche: The Anti Tzschurch & The Nietzschruth


Chinese Philosophy