The Library: Revised and Condensed
1945 Château Mouton-Rothschild $30,000
1987 Mogen David $3.99
2007 Charles Shaw (“Two Buck Chuck”) $1.99
2008 Broke Depressed Divorcee (“Cheep Weep”) $0.49
1963 Big Briton (“Filling For a Schilling”) $10
2007 Husband’s Apology (“I Spent Money, Honey”) $300
1787 Château d’Yquem $100,000
1787 Wyquem’s House $1,000
1945 Old Red Grapes $1,000
1945 Old Red Grapes from France $100,000
2015 Back to the Future $50,000
1993 Sex After Marriage $5
1993 Sex on the Fourth Date $80
1993 Sex on the First Date $300
1993 One Night Stand $800
1993 You’ll Be Boning Her In 2 seconds $2,000
1993 She’ll Be Doing You Once She Sees the Label $10,000
2003 Neverland Ranch Jesus Juice $45,000
2000 Woody Allen’s House Moses Juice $10,000
1999 R. Kelly’s Crib Abraham Alize $10,000
Mona Lisa $2 billion
Mona Lisa II: The Wrath of Khan $20 billion
The Last Supper $700 million
The Second to Last Supper $125 million
A Light Snack $100 million
Binge Eating at 3 a.m. $3 trillion
Dieting the Next Afternoon $50
Sistine Chapel $25 billion
Sistine Candles $11.99
Van Gogh’s Self-Portrait without beard $100 million
Van Gogh’s Self-Portrait with Elvis sideburns $100 billion
A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte $100 million
A Sunday Afternoon Watching Football in My Underwear $100 million
Black Square $20 million
Small Red Dot -$1 million
Untouched Canvas $100 million
No Canvas $100 billion
No Universe $100 trillion
David $1 billion
Saul $30,000
Onan $5 trillion
The Thinker $5 million
The Crapper $5 million
The Thinker on the Crapper $10 million
The Plunger $9.99 + tax
Topless and Armless $799 million
Venus de Milo $800 million
1856 British Guiana 1¢ Black on Magenta $2 million
1998 Pico Robertson $6.99 Tuna on Wheat $6.99
1840 UK Penny Black $1,000
1840 PC Penny African-American $10,000
1918 US 24¢ Inverted Jenny $600,000
1981 UK Perverted Benny $600,001
10,007 BC Chevrolet Bedrock $10 million
2008 Honda Much Better Than All Your Shitty American Cars Combined $20,000
2008 Mercedes I’m Rich Ladies $100,000
1987 Kyargoke I’m Freakin' Broke $150
2006 Hummer Screw You and the Environment $100,000
2008 Saab Crybaby $30,000
1995 Baab Barker Showcase Showdown $31,000
1943 U.S. “S” Copper Penny $60,000
1930 U.S. “G” Crummy. Flat-footed, Rotten, Dirty, Lying Copper Penny $120,000
1933 U.S. Double Eagle $8 million
1933 Puerto Rico Double Eagle $8 billion
2001 U.S. Penny $8 ∞
2002 U.S. Penny $ ∞ ∞
1909-11 T206 Honus Wagner $1 million
1909-11 T206 Lou Gehrig (Little League Debut) $1 billion
150,000 BC A206 Unidentified Man with Stick Hits Rock $1 trillion
1989 Fleer Bill Ripken (Hand in Pants Variation) $2,200
1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie $40
1987 Bellingham Mariners Ken Griffey Jr. Minor League Rookie $50
1979 Future Ken Griffey Jr. Little League Rookie $200
1969 In the Womb Ken Griffey Jr. Ultrasound Rookie $5,000
2003 Topps Chrome Lebron James / Michael Jordan Gold TRexrefriedactor Game Used Jersey / Shorts / Jock Strap Autograph (limited to a print run of negative 23) $150 million
1979 OPC Bruce Boudreau $1
1979 OPC Wayne Gretzky Rookie $1,000
1979 OPC Batman $10,000
1986 OPC Patrick Roy Rookie C$150
1986 Topps Patrick Woh Rookie ¥6 billion
1981 Topps Joe Montana Rookie $100
2004 Leaf “Fans of the Game” Joe Mantegna $1 million
1997 Topps Michael Irvin Court Used Mink Coat $1,000
1991 Stadium Club Brett Favre Rookie (Error Card: Last named misspelled “Makowski”) $5,000
Tiger Woods $500
William Shakespeare $2 million
Ronald McDonald $3 million
Mayor McCheese $8 million
Thomas Crapper $350 million
Bernie Ballcock $5 billion
The Buddha Siddhartha Gautama $1 trillion
The Buddha John Doelasubramanium $1,000
Jesus (signed “Jesus Christ”) $1 trillion
Jesus (signed “J. Pierpont Christ”) $5 trillion
Bill Belichick (signed “BB”) $30 trillion
Bill Belichick (singed “Bill Belichick”) $150 trillion
Bill Belichick (signed “Screw You”) $700 trillion
Bill Belichick (unsigned) $1 zillion
Lines and Dots (Odyssey) $5
Pac-Man (2600) $1
El Hombre Paco (2600) $10
Tetris (Gameboy) $1
Carpal Tunnel (Gameboy) $2
Virtual Impeachment Trial (Playstation) $20
Virtual Plumbing (2-Ply-Station) $300
Halo (Xbox) $5
Hey Ho (Sexxxbox) $69
Wii Masturbation (Wii) $5,000
Wii-wee (Wii) $50
Wine
Art
Stamps
Cars
Coins
Sports Cards
Autographs
Video Games