The Chinese are on the verge of taking over the economy. We need to do something about that if it we want to stay on top. We need a state sponsored channel that shows nothing but Chinese people working. That should get us to work harder.
But if the Chinese take over, fine. They're earning it. They're winning. That's the American way.
We need to form a serious alliance with the Chinese. Nixon started it. Let's finish it. We need to send the Chinese a gift. They must have some sort of leader. We should find that guy and give him a truckload of rice. Make that a boatload of rice. We should subsidize rice, and send a lot of it to China. And maybe they'll send us back something. Like some red, white, and blue chopsticks.