US Weekly

How Kirstie Highway Lost Fifty Pounds

She stopped eating.

How Constellation Jones Lost Fifty Pounds

Gastric bypass surgery

Is Britney Spears Pregnant?

No.

Angelina Jolie

No story. We just felt like printing her name.

Paris Hilton Gets a Dog

And if you’re reading this, you need to get a life.

Ben and Gwen Get Married

I give it six weeks.

Jen and Ken Get Divorced

Big surprise!

Rich, Good Looking Celebrity Complains About Life

If he switched places with me, he’d kill himself.