EXT. FIELD - DAY
Adam is walking with Eve. Eve looks like she is a few months pregnant.
ADAM Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but ... have you gained weight?
EVE I think I'm pregnant.
ADAM ... How did that happen?
EVE God knows.
Adam looks up.
ADAM God.
GOD Yes Adam.
ADAM How did Eve get pregnant?
GOD You knew her.
ADAM Oh. ... Well, uh... what’s gonna happen next?
GOD I’ll just let you two find that out for yourselves.
EXT. FIELD - DAY
MONTHS LATER
Adam is walking with Eve, who now looks nine months pregnant. She suddenly stops, holds her stomach, and begins moaning.
ADAM What's wrong!
EVE Ah -- I think I'm about to give birth.
NARRATOR (V.O.) And Eve bore Cain.
CAIN is lying in front of Eve, crying. Eve picks him up.
Cain stops crying after a few seconds.
EVE Isn’t he beautiful?
ADAM Well... maybe after we wash him off. ... (to the Baby) So uh -- how’s it going?
A few seconds pass.
EVE I don’t think he knows how to talk.
ADAM Well -- he sure knows how to pee.
Adam shakes some urine off of his hand.
EVE ... So uh -- what should we name him?
ADAM I don’t know. Do you have any ideas?
EVE Well -- this is Genesis. How about something ancient?
ADAM How about Siddharhtha?
EVE What? No, I was thinking something more Biblical. Like, uh... Cain.
ADAM Cain? Anybody with a name like Cain is gonna grow up to be a murderer.
EVE What?! My father's name was Cain!
ADAM Your father? You don't have a father!
EVE Adam -- now is not the time! Now is it Cain, or is it Cain?
ADAM ... Cain it is. ... What’s with that cord?
EVE Yeah -- what is that?
ADAM I don’t know. When my donkey gave birth, it just tore off by itself.
EVE Well, should we tear off ours?
ADAM I suppose.
EVE ... Well?
ADAM Well what?
EVE Go ahead.
ADAM I’m not touching that thing!
EVE (annoyed /angry)
What -- you want me to do it?
ADAM OK, OK.
Adam tears the umbilical cord with his hands.
Adam and Eve watch Cain for a few seconds.
EVE He’s just lying there.
ADAM Well -- it’s probably gonna be a while before he’s up walking and talking.
EVE How long?
ADAM Well -- let’s see. It took my donkey’s kid about a half an hour to stand up, and another hour to start walking. So uh -- I suppose our kid will be working on our farm by tomorrow.
EXT. FIELD - LATE AFTERNOON (CONT.)
Cain is still lying face up on the ground while Adam and Eve stare at him.
EXT. FIELD - EARLY EVENING (CONT.)
Same
EXT. FIELD - MORNING (CONT.)
Same
EXT. FIELD - AFTERNOON (CONT.)
Same
ADAM This kid doesn't do anything!