Most wealthy people are easily offended when it comes to certain things. If you don’t let them know that you really value wealth, they might take it as a personal insult. Now, I’m trying to become a billionaire--so I guess they have less of a reason to be offended by me. But still, that might not be enough. You have to let them know you value wealth. Let them know you want what they have. When you come across a wealthy person, let him know. Say, "I want your money. Where is it?" No--don't do that. That's not a good idea.
When you go to a wealthy person’s home, let him know how amazing it is. “Wow--your house is amazing.” And if he shows you some marble in his living room, you should make a big deal about it. After all, he had it brought in from Italy. Only one in a million people can afford marble like that. You better make a big deal about it. "Wow! I love this marble. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable." You know what? Just put your hand in your pants and say, “Oh--that’s some good marble.” Show up at his home every month or so with flowers, and say, "Can I see your marble?" Don’t even acknowledge the guy’s existence. The road to a rich man's heart lies through his marble. Did Ben Franklin say that? He should’ve said that. If he didn't, we need to take him off of the hundred dollar bill--because he didn't know anything about money.
I’m trying to become a billionaire. How does one do that?
I'm pretty sure you have to yell at people. I'm not pretty sure--I am sure. The thing is, I'm not sure who to yell at. I bought The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but it didn't mention anything about yelling at others. And as you might imagine, I returned the book. And I yelled at the bookseller. But that didn't get me anywhere. Maybe I should yell at Mr Barnes and Mr. Noble.
Who does Donald Trump yell at? I need to yell at that person. I guess I'm going to have to buy Trump's books. And if they don't mention who Trump yells at, I should yell at Trump himself.
How did other billionaires make their fortunes? Let’s see. Mark Cuban started a website--broadcast.com--and sold it to Yahoo for billions of dollars. The website wasn’t actually making money when Yahoo bought it, and it didn’t have much in the way of visitors, but they paid billions of dollars for it. And, to make a long story short, Mark Cuban lived happily ever after. Yahoo didn’t, though. Because broadcast.com doesn’t even exist anymore.
So that's the story of Mark Cuban's billions. I’m actually pretty close to doing what he did. Sort of. I mean, I have the whole not making money part down. Now I just need to get billions of dollars for it. I can sell it. I’m not sure what it is--but it’s definitely worth more than broadcast.com was. Mark Cuban--do you have any advice for me?
Maybe I need to go down to Yahoo or some other company and compliment their marble. I’m going to do that tomorrow. That's my business plan.
Who else is worth a lot of money? Facebook. Jim Facebook. No--there’s no Jim Facebook. The guy behind Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg. He’s worth way more than Mark Cuban. So the hell with Mark Cuban. He doesn’t know anything about marble. I’ll bet Zuckerberg’s a marble expert.
He started up Facebook. I’m not sure what that involved. I guess the idea was, “We’ll put up a site like Friendster and MySpace.” “What else?” “That's it.” So they put up another MySapce or Friendster, and called it Facebook.
That's not even a job. Mark Zuckerberg is basically an unemployed billionaire. He’s never been employed. I don't care how much he's worth.
That's why I'm into old school titans of industry. Rockefeller, Carnegie, Vanderbilt, Morgan. Basically, people who wore top hats. Complimenting marble is good, but wearing a top hat is better. The Top Hat Club--they’re at the top of the food chain. I mean, if J. Pierpont Morgan were around today, he’d be buying and selling Mark Cuban and Mark Zuckerberg every day. He’d own a note to their souls.
Yeah--I just brought those guys down a few notches. Cuban, Zuckerberg--you’re the property of J. Pierpont Morgan, just like me.
I want to become more influential. Like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. I've been studying them--and apparently, they're unbelievably influential. For instance, Mary Kate is a fashion icon who introduced us to the homeless look. Seriously. That's her main cotribution the the fashion world. The homeless look.
Maybe I should do something like that. How about the insane look? I'll just walk around town wearing a straight jacket. A red straight jacket, just to distinguish it from other ones. I'm pretty sure that'll take off. Right on the heels of the homeless look. Maybe people who were into the homeless look will see my movement as the next step. They'll go from the homeless look to the insane look. That sounds right. People like that could actually use straight jackets. For them, a straight jacket will be both fashionable and useful.
I should point out that the red idea isn't really mine. I didn't originate it. I borrowed it from Christian Louboutin.--a billion dollar a year shoe designer who's who's known for his red soles. He's an innovator. He painted a shoe sole red. Can you believe it? Red. The second I heard about that, I said, "Oh my goodness. I think I'm going to pass out. Red shoe soles."
Louboutin gave us the red shoe sole. And then some other shoe manufacturers started painting their shoes soles red--and he sued them. "I own the rights to red soles. That's a trademark. That's copyrightable. I came up with an incredible combination. Shoe soles and red. Nobody thought of that before me."
Yeah. Because that's his creative property. He painted a shoe sole red. That's his contributon to society.
What if I find a red shoe sole dated back to 200 AD? Then what? Will that hurt his lawsuit? If I find that shoe, will I have the legal right to hit him over the head with it? I should. If he can sue over the color red, I should have that right. Christian Louboutin, you better hope I don't find that shoe.
I think I'm going to become a shoe desinger. I've learned a lot from Christian.
Her'e more or less what he has to say:
"My customers must meet certain standards. Otherwise, no. Ge them away. I don't want them to buy my shoes. I'm an artist. These are my creations. They cost $5,000. Consider yourself lucky that you get to look at my shoes. Angelina Jolie wears them. Angelina Jolie wears my shoes. A good shoe is like a good wine. That's why Angleina Jolie wears my shoes. She knows good wine, and she knows good shoes. Have you seen Angelina Jolie's feet? I've had them in my mouth on numerous ocassions. Very nice."
Angelina Jolie wears his shoe. If you're a shoe desinger, make sure everybody knows that.
So I'm going to do that.
The thing is, Angelina Jolie doesn't wear my shoes. How can I get her to wear them? I'm not sure. My main career objective right now is to get my shoes on her feet. A lot of poople's careers revolve around Angelina Jolie.
And if my shoe career doesn't work out, I can still go with the red straight jackets. People will see Angelina Jolie in a red straight jacket, and think, "You know what? I have to have one of those." I'll put out the world's first fashion straight jacket. My straight jackets are as upscale as it gets.