Good news. Some Muslim cab drivers saved a New York City kosher bagel shop from closing. Coney Island's Bialys and Bagels. Have you heard of them? They've been cranking out bagels since 1920, when Morris Rosenzweig opened the place. (By the way, Morris Rosenzweig isn't Muslim.) 91 years of bagels. Which to me is more significant than Ted Williams's hitting streak.
Rosenzweig's grandson Steve Ross was going to close the place, but Muslim cab driver Zafaryab Ali bought it, and then became partners with Peerzada Shah--also a Muslim cab driver. Did I mention that they're both Muslim cab drivers? I think that's a pretty common job in New York City. Muslim cab driver. "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a Muslim cab driver."
I think we should have a Muslim cab driver holiday. Maybe not nationwide--but definitely in New York City. Muslim Cab Driver Day. We should give all of them free bagels. And extra tips.
Or how about a Muslim Cab Driver reality show? I'd actually watch that. I'm going to program my Tivo to record it. Even if it doesn't exist. Does Tivo have that option? Can I record shows that don't exist? If I can't, I'm returning my Tivo.
Anyways, under the new owners--both of whom are Muslim cabdrivers (Did I already mention that?)--Bialys is doing some pretty good business. Shah and Ali are running the place, along with its longtime employee Joseph Jackson.
Peerzada Shah and Zafaryab Ali are running Bialys and Bagels. That sounds like a reality show, too. Or a sitcom. A sitcom about two Muslim cab drivers who run a New York City kosher bagel shop. I'd watch that, too. I'm not sure where their employee Joseph Jackson fits into it, though. We might have to get rid of that character. Let's replace him with a sassy black woman. We'll get the actress who played Pam on Martin. That sounds like a winner to me. Imagine her getting all attitudy with her boss.
But getting back to the story, Ali worked at Bialys for quite some time before acquiring it, and Shah had attended a culinary arts school in Manhattan--so they weren't exactly two random Muslim cabdrivers who took over a kosher bakery. Which takes away from the story a little. You know what? In the sitcom, we'll get rid of that part. We'll make it so that Ali's son got engaged to the former owner's daughter--much to the dissapproval of both sides parents--but they all had breakfast at Bialys one morning, and kind of got along. You know what? Let's make it a movie. We'll also have some scene where a a naggy Jewish woman goes into labor while she's all alone, gets into a cab, and sees Peerzada Shah. He's a Muslim cab driver. In case you forgot. That should be the opening scene.
I'm going to get started on the script today. What should I call the movie? How about Ali and Shah's Kosher Bagels? Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal can play Ali.