The Library: Revised and Condensed
Meet George.
He’s married to a devoted wife, he has a couple of children, and he’s making about $100,000 a year—but he’s not particularly satisfied with his life.
Well, boo hoo!
I’m all alone, I don’t have any children, and I’m making about $100,000 a decade—and you don’t hear me complaining! (Actually, you do. But at least I have a reason to complain).
But George is unhappy! George wants more out of life! George this! George that!
You know what? ___ George!
OK. Now, meet George’s best friend Paul. He’s pretty much in the same boat, only his wife is a total nag.
George spends all day fantasizing about a fictional woman who makes him feel young and exciting Paul, on the other hand, is actually cheating on his wife, and seems eager to divorce her—only he’s never been able to really pull the trigger.
But one day, he does pull the trigger—and I mean that literally.
His wife, however, ends up surviving, and Paul gets three years in prison.
Anyways, to make a long story short, George’s neighbor videotapes a flying grocery bag…
Or, wait a second. Wrong story.
George ends up having an affair with a widow, partying with her and her friends, and distancing himself from his old social circle.
His wife later gets him to admit that he’s having an affair—and, believe it or not, he manages to convince her that it was all her fault. (I tried doing that once with a girlfriend, and ended up with four deflated tires).
Anyways, Geroge soon realizes that his mistress’s life is almost as dull as hiw own, and he starts to get sick of her as well (—which doesn’t surprise me at all considering what I know about his guy).
And as all of this happens, his friends and business associates, pissed off by some of his new liberal views, refuse to deal with him until he reconforms to their social circle’s standards and puts his new views behind __ . And his wife ends up getting sick—which causes him to regret his past decisions and become a good husband.
And while his wife deals with her illness, his friends offer their support—and George jumps on the opportunity to rejoin their club, and once again becomes the same guy who hated his life ___
His 18 year old son, however, elopes with his neighbor, and decides to become a mechanic.
George doesn’t love the idea—but he’s happy that his son is living his own life, instead of merely conforming the way he did.