What's going on, Einstein? I'm a big fan of your work--especially splitting atoms. That is awesome. But I don't know about the whole relativity thing. I was just looking into it the other day. Are you telling me that from a certain perspective, when Isaac Newton saw that apple, it was just chilling out in the air while the entire universe dropped and hit it? That doesn't even make any sense. What are you talking about? I've personally repeated that apple experiment on numerous occasions--and every single time, the apple fell. The universe never fell. I've verified Newtonian physics. All that relativity stuff might make sense in your theoretical world--but guess what, Albert? I live in the real world. This is reality. And in reality, the apple falls.
I know you're a big deal, and you got a Nobel Prize. Everybody has accepted your theory because of that. But Nobel Prizes don't mean anything, bro. Yasser Arafat got a Nobel Prize. And Barack Obama got a Nobel Prize on his first day.
The thing is, Nobel Prizes are all politics. Sometimes they're just trying to further a cause or something, and they give it to one guy for the wrong reasons. I'll bet that Yasser Arafat is cousins with the Nobel Prize guy. And Barack Obama is cousins with him, too. They must have a lot of diversity in that family. They have Hawaiians, Kenyans, and Arabs. That's good.
But yeah, man. I don't know about this theory of relativity bull. If you're still alive... Are you still alive? Is Einstein still alive? I don't know. But if you are still alive, you should seriously consider revising that theory. Because it needs some changes. OK?