Sometimes what appears to be racism is something else. When I come across a black person wearing a Kill Whitey T-shirt, I’m cautious of him. But not because he’s black. It's not because he's black. It’s his stance on whitey. That’s the main factor. And he doesn’t affect what I think of other black people. Like Colin Powell. When I see a black person in a Kill Whitey T-shirt, I don’t think to myself, "This random black person seems pretty insane. You know what that means? Colin Powell’s probably robbing my house right now." No. I don't think that. Colin Powell has nothing to do with Mr. Kill Whitey. Hopefully.
So once again, I'm not a racist. Hopefully Al Sharpton won't go after me. Actually, I kind of want him to go after me. I need the publicity. Because I don't really have much of a career right now. Other people have a career. They have something to lose. So they don't want that Al Sharpton publicity. I do. I can benefit from it. I'm not going to lose any fans. I don't have any fans. I'm just going to gain some. So yes--I want Al Sharpton to go after me.
I'm not an actual racist--but I'm willing to act like I'm one if it'll get me on Al Sharpton's list. So, you know what? Colin Powell's a black asshole. How's that? Al Sharpton--I'll be expecting your call tonight. This'll be a win-win situation. We'll actually be more like partners. He'll get some publicity. I'll get some publicity. Al Sharpton needs people like me. You're welcome, Al.
I'm surprised he doesn’t try to bait people into doing something racist. That sounds like something he'd do. To drum up some business. He should have a reality show like Candid Camera or Punk'd. He can have some 18 year old white girl tell her parents that she's pregnant--and that the father is a Black Panther. Or he can make his target white person walk into a room of nothing but black people eating watermelon. A random white guy walks into a random El Pollo Loco, and sees fifty black people eating watermelon. Just imagine Al in a van, watching the scene on a monitor. “Come on. Don't try to act like nothing's happening.“
That's a good idea. Al--you should hire me. Forget what I said earlier. Collin Powell is an American hero, and so are you. Make me your show's executive producer.
So hopefully Al will take take me up on my offer. If he's not too busy doing whatever he does. He's a civil rights activist. And I'm sure when he's not busy setting up that whole black people eating watermelon scene, he does a lot of good for the world.