Hi. I'm Rodney Ohebsion, and this is my official website.
I'm a writer, businessman, publisher, nutritionist, and humorist.
Contact: rodney3399@gmail.com
Join my mailing list (1-3 emails per month)
Have You Lost Weight?
Weight Loss Secrets
Dr. Rodney Ohebsion’s Generic Revolutionary Diet
The Einstein Diet
Yoga in a Pill
Drug Ads
Ritalin
Pills
Side Effects
Coca Cola
Food
Trader Joe's
A Collection of Wisdom
Quotes and Proverbs
Confucianism / Confucius
Christopher Columbus's Blog
Genghis Khan - Fireside Chat
A Biography of Richard Nixon
A Biography of Glenn Beck
A History of the Future
The Prophecies of Nostradamus
Newspaper Headlines: 1 Million BC - 2008
Get Rid of Columbus Day
Back in the Day / (A Parody of the All in the Family Theme Song)
Rodney Ohebsion: Liberal Hero
I'm a Real American
Elections Are Bull
Kim Kardashian For President
Don't Underestimate Obama
Liberals and Conservatives
Common Sense
The Declaration of Independence
The Constitution
Fox News Isn't Fair and Balanced
The President
Fiat Currency
The Federal Reserve
The United States Federal Budget, Deficit, and Debt
Bailouts
Europeans Make a Lot of Money?
The US-China Alliance
Capitalism / Communism
Putting an End to Homelessness
Stock Market Investing
The 99 Cent Store
Borders
$700 Home in a Box
Going Out of Business Sale
Crazy Gideon
Infomercials
How to Become a Billionaire
I Want to Sue Sumner Redstone
I Want to Sue Someone
I Need Money
Getting an Agent
Guide to Craps
Hat Theory
College is a Mental Prison
The Wright Brothers and the iPod
I Love Seinfeld
I'm a Political Pundit
Offended
Heel Turn
The Clever Hans Effect
"I'm Right, You're Wrong" - Debates and Arguments
The Fifties
Elvis
Tom Hanks
Tupac Shakur
The Bush Family
Barack Obama
Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion
Gentile Conspiracy
The Calcium Conspiracy
The Anti-Conservative Media
Math and Racism
Bill Burr and Don Rickles
Al Sharpton
Jackie Robinson Day
Black People in Movie Theaters
You Must Be Crazy, Honky
Civil Rights, Karaoke, and the N-Word
Jews Control the World?
White Supremacists
White Supremacists, Jews, and Bernie Madoff
Friends: The Movie
You Can Call Things Oriental. You Can't Call People Oriental.
Legalize Marijuana, Impeach Obama
RE: Ron Paul on Legalizing Marijuana
The Internet
An Opinion Flood and a Knowledge Drought
Rick Roll 27011
The End of Patience
Internet City
Google
Google Rap
Cancelling AOL
Yahoo
Who Uses Bing?
You Sound Fat
YouTube Comments Are a Conspiracy
Don't Call Me a Jew N----r
Wikipedia is Great--in Moderation
There Are Too Many Know-It-Alls on the Internet
Blogs, Facebook, and Twitter
Flippin' (A Parody of "It's Tricky" by Run-DMC)
Highest Rated US TV Broadcasts
Sitcom Catchphrases
The Bible
The Commandments
The Birth of Cain
Cain and Abel
David and Bathsheba
Solomon
The Gospel
Jesus's Blog
The Apostles Creed
The Conservative Bible
Martin Luther - 95 Theses
The Second Coming
The Qur’an
The First Church of the Dallas Cowboys
Cobra Kai-ism
Recorded Teachings of the Buddha
Dr. Buddha
Taoism
The Analects of Confucius
Prayers
Teachings of Reality’s Only True Non-Existent God
Why My God Is Better Than Your God
Religion and Atheism
Glenn Beck
Jews Aren't Trying to Convert Me
Israel and Palestine
Muslim Cab Drivers and Kosher Bagels
Zionist Library
Fix My Computer
The Apology of Socrates
Socrates
Rene Descartes: Discourse on the Cane
David Hume: An Essay Concerning Concluisions...
Immanuel Kant: Critique of Pure Bull
Arthur Schopenhauer: The Glass is Half Full...
Nietzsche: The Anti Tzschurch & Nietzschruth
Ludwig Wittgenstein: Eveything is Bull
Nature vs. Nurture - Psychology and Behavioral Genetics
Psychology
Psychology
Brain Scans
Isaac Newton - Principia
Einstein - Relativity: The Special & General Theory
Albert Einstein
Charles Darwin - On the Origin of Species
I, Rodney Ohebsion, Hereby Decline My Grammy Nomination
Congratulations, Mr. Award Winner
My Quest to Get an Agent
Louis C.K.
Louis C.K.'s TIme Machine
Louis C.K. on the Daily Show
I'm Funnier Than Louis C.K.
Dave Chappelle
Jerry Seinfeld
Weird Al Yankovic
Atheists Are Annoying
Atheism Isn't an Activity
Men Are from Mars...
Understanding Women
Finding Love
Animal Courting and Mating Habits
Human Courting and Mating Habits
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Cosmo
PreTeen Girl
Celebrity News
US Weekly
Celebrities
Oprah Winfrey is the Most Powerful Person in the World
Oprah's Pee
Al Pacino
Showbusiness News
Highest Grossing Movies
Top Songs
Music News
Reviews
Da Vinci Code Review
Pulp Fiction Review
Star Wars Review
Scarface
Home Alone
I Love Lucy
Entourage
Bill Clinton's 8/17/98 Grand Jury Testimony
Proverbs
Fortune Cookie Fortunes
The Iliad & Odyssey
Shall I Compare Thee?
Why Do I Love Thee?
Shakespeare's Diary
The Canterbury Tales
Robinson Crusoe
War and Peace
Crime and Punishment
Babbitt
Bestselling Books
Mail
Google
Wikipedia
Downloads
News
Fox News / MSNBC
Whites Unite
Amazon.com
Subway Computers
Mapquest
Craigslist
Other Titles
Testimonials
WARNINGS
Info Desk
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Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Acknowledgements II
Library Card Application
Lists
Table of Contents
Bibliography
About the Author
Views
How Obama Can Get Reelected
George W. Bush
Should We Be Into Politics?
Drinking with Bob and Obama
Betty White
Sports News
Peyton Manning Threw the Super Bowl?
Antonio Cromartie's Kids
On Phoniness
What People Are Saying
Time Warner Cable
Jay-Z featuring Warren Buffet
Money
Audacity and 99 Cent Pricing
Vending Machines
Fred Jones: Sock Middleman
The First Guy to Snort Cocaine
Hammurabi’s Code
Ronnie Coleman
A Guide to Bodybuilding
Collectibles Price Guide
Conversion Tables
FBI’s Least Wanted List
World Records
The Average Second
Dictionary & Thesaurus
English-Spanish Dictionary
Iran Times
Pizza
Joe and Jed (A Parody of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song / Intro / Opening)
God's Way (A Parody of "On Broadway" by George Benson)
I Did Some Crack (A Parody of the Gilligan's Island Theme Song)
Obama Diss (A Parody of "Hit 'Em Up" by Tupac / 2Pac)
If You Hate Obama...
MC Boolet
McDonald's Sucks
McDonald's Day
A Tribute to Benjamin Netanyahu
Traffic
Glenn Beck and the NRA
The Rodney Ohebsion Show
Tutorial: How to Open a Door
History
Biographies
The Best of the Internet
Affirmations
CheckOutMyCards.com
Real Estate
Inner Strength Defies the Skeptic by Duane Campbell
Religion-Notes
Chatbot
Immediex Publishing
Gandhi
Bruce Bowen
WSOP
Amos 'n' Andy
Conspiracy Theory Parodies
The United States of Detroit
A Biography of Jesus
Real American
A Biography of Howard Stern
Challenging the Bible by Robert G. Ingersoll
I Gots Beef
Esse
Dude--Check Out My Website
Wakil al-Hakim
Inspirational Athletes
On Religion
Seeking the Truth
The Uses of Religion
On Christians / Maintream Christianity
Positive Quotes and News
Chinese Philosophy
Native American Wisdom
Success
Hinduism
Jainism
The Lakota
Nat. Am. Religions
African Religions
Zoroastrianism
Judaism
Shinto
I Ching
Confucius
Buddha
Zen Buddhism
Cyrus the Great
Yang Chu
Mo Tzu
Hsun Tzu
Han Fei Tzu
Christianity
Islam
Sufism
Sikhism
Da Vinci
Machiavelli
Montaigne
Cervantes
Baltasar Gracian
La Rochefoucauld
Francesco Guicciardini
Yen Yuan
Joseph Addison
Yoritomo Tashi
Li Chih
Lord Shaftesbury
Blaise Pascal
Voltaire
Goethe
R.W. Emerson
H.D. Thoreau
Frederick Douglass
Christian D. Larson
Henry Ford
Mark Twain
Andrew Carnegie
Charles Schwab
William James
Friedrich Nietzsche
Helen Keller
F.W. Woolworth
W.W. Atkinson
Samuel Smiles
O.S. Marden
Napoleon Hill
William George Jordan
Perfect Liberty
Eleanor Roosevelt
Wilma Rudolph
Babe Ruth
Casey Stengel
Vince Lombardi
Mary Kay Ash
Scotty Bowman
Hillary Clinton
Phil Jackson
Bill Gates
Olga Korbut
Oprah Winfrey
Michael Jordan
Mike Tyson
Jalon Anderson
Humanism
Deism
Pantheism
Atheism
Agnosticism
Chinese Folktales
Mulla Nasrudin
Jewish Folktales
Sufi Folktales
Aesop’s Fables
Indian Folktales
Buddhist Parables
African Folktales
Other Folktales
The Forum
Based on Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince
Based on the Han Fei Tzu
Based on Sun Tzu’s The Art of War
Based on Baltasar Gracian’s The Art of Worldly Wisdom
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This is the least visited site on the internet. So you're part of an exclusive club. No one else is here. It's just you. I think. It's probably not even you. Even you're not here. So there's no one. That's how exclusive it is.
I'm definitely not here. I'm doing whatever you guys are doing. What are you guys doing? What's popular right now? I wouldn't know. Something is popular. Something to do with Apple. I'm at the Apple Store. Doing whatever the hell people do there. I'm playing with an Apple I-thingamabob, because I'm thinking of buying one.
I'm definitely not here at this site. This site is bull.
You know what? This is the greatest site ever. If you're not here, the hell with you.
By the way, remember the name Rodney Ohebsion. I'm going to be very famous one day. You can say you knew me back when I was a nobody. Or maybe I'll just be a nobody forever. Then you can say you knew me when I was a nobody, and you still know me now. And I'm still a nobody.
Anyways,
This is my official website. If you don't like its design, feel free to go to perezhilton.com or The Huffington Post. Or go to your own site. Around here, we do things my way. This is the design. By the way, if you're a fan of perezhilton.com or the Huffington Post, get off my site right now. You can come back when you go a month without visiting Mr. Hilton or Ms. Huffington.
You can find most of my works on this site. There are about 300 links on this homepage. I expect you to click at least half of them.
I also have a Twitter and YouTube account. I'd post links to them, but I have hardly any followers/subscribers, and I don't want you to know that. If I want to become famous, I need to convince people that I'm already famous. Linking to my Twitter and YouTube accounts won't help that cause.
After all, if you want to advance in the world, it's usually a good idea to make people think that everything's going well. If anyone asks you, "How are things going?" you should say, "Great! Fantastic! Everything's going well!" It doesn't matter if you've spent the last few days eating uncooked oatmeal like a horse. Just tell people that everything is going great.
That's what I do. Here's what I told someone the other day when he asked me about my career:
"Good. Very good Everything's moving along well. I have an agent. I almost have an agent. I'm about to get an agent. I'm taking to an agent. Me and an agent. We're talking. We're in some talks. We're considering doing some talking. He said he might talk to me at some point. He didn't actually say that to me. But I think he's considering saying that. So yeah. The main ingredients. Me and an agent. Me and an agent. Yes. Something's going on there. He filed a restraining order against me. My agent. He's not my agent. But he's my agent in the sense that he's the one who filed the restraining order. So in a certain sense, he's my agent. He's telling me to stay a 100 yards away from him at all times. Actually, he himself isn't telling me that. Our legal system is telling me that. My agent is telling me to stay 100 miles away from him. Well, he himself didn't tell me that. He sent an ex-convict to tell me. My agent's ex-convict is telling me to stay 100 miles away from my agent. And our legal system is saying 100 yards. Hopefully I can get both numbers down to 50. If I can get them down to 50, then my career will look pretty good. Although if it gets too low, I might actually attack my agent. Like if it gets down to ten yards. If I find myself ten yards away from my agent, who knows? I might just decide to karate chop him. And that might hurt my career. Unless the bad boy theme helps my career. I beat the crap out of an agent. That might help my career."
Well, I guess I started off with the "Great! Fantastic!" approach--but some honesty slipped into everything. So I suppose that's not going to help my career. Next time, I'll really play it up. If someone asks me how my career is doing, I'll convince him I have an army of agents.
Oh--don't forget to join my mailing list. I've had it for a while, and I have yet to actually send any emails--but I'll probably send 1-3 per month at some point.
You can also email me at rodney3399@gmail.com. Please keep in mind, however, that I'm a very busy and important person, and I probably won't get back to you. Especially if you're under the impression that I owe you money. I don't owe you anything.